I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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