Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
