you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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