I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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