it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
