Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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