I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
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Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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