I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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