your thong is hanging out like whoa
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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