it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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