Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
im holly from the hills drunk
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
