Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
