like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
