Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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