shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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