you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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