i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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