very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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