yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
that's an acceptable place to lick
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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