These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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