Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize