alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
