Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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