We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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