I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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