it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
