my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize