mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
