So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
