brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
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just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
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And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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