my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
