btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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