just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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