his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
