I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
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