also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
