using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
