Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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