mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
