she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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