my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
