i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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