we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
