I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
