doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
