That's intense
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
