It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
