Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
