Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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