dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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