just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
