K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
