There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
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do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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