I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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