The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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