I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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