I hate all girls vehemently.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
