did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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