i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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